How impulsive behaviour is destroying your relationship?

impulsive behaviour

We all are a bit impulsive in our day-to-day life, aren’t we? We eat that extra slice of cake; even after following a diet, we tend to stay awake to watch just another episode of a series when we promised ourselves a proper routine! So why do we do it? Are these impulsivity symptoms? 

As a matter of fact, taking actions according to our impulses is pretty much typical of human beings. I mean, just a piece of cake cannot cause a disruptive life, can it? However, an intense peak of impulsive behaviour can be endangering oneself and the people around you. 

See the children you encounter crying for a doll or a car? Their adamancy only calms down after getting what they need, as in, only after their impulses are answered. These are small-scale impulse-related issues. It so happens that even after growing up, we hold on to this impulsivity and take it to a dangerous level.

How can you know if you have an impulsivity issue?

  • Having obsessive thoughts 
  • Unable to control your impulses
  • Cannot stay calm until and unless you do not act upon your impulses 
  • Agitation, anxiety, frustration. Depression in a few cases. 
  • Emotional aloofness, getting distant from friends and family.
  • Lowering self-esteem
  • Going up to the extent of accomplishing dangerous tasks to satisfy your impulses. Having burn and cut marks. Bruises laden hands and legs. All these self-inflicted pain are given when you become negligent in your self-care, and all you think about is to listen to the nudges of your impulses. Having impulsivity disorder can take you to the level where you feel a sensation of anxiousness if you cannot ‘ follow the orders of your impulses.’ On the other hand, a deep sense of relief overflows when you act according to your impulses.
  •  Acting out violently or aggressively with objects, animals, and even people around you.

Reasons why you may have acquired it-

  • The genetic cause– This can be a result of impulsive behaviour in you. When any mental conditions or mood disorders lie in the family history, it becomes one of the obvious reasons to get susceptible to impulsivity.
  • Imbalanced emotions- In some instances, the brain develops a ‘short circuiting’ or, to say, an imbalance with the emotional and memory aspects. This may result in the onset of an impulsive behavior disorder.
  • Child trauma- At an early age, if children become exposed to rash behaviours at home, violent atmosphere, and domestic abuses, this trauma is carried forward with them even in the later years. To conceal their actual emotional fluctuation, they unconsciously develop impulsivities to gain some control in other areas of their life. 

How can it play a role in sabotaging your relationships?

  • Maintaining relationships for impulsive people can be… in a word…chaotic! They have the reluctance to show their actual emotions to the other person. Bottling up affection can take a very drastic turn in creating distance between the two individuals. As they are impulsively involved in doing something or the other, they do not showcase their innermost feelings to their partner.
  • Forgetfulness is another criterion that can create a rift. The individual usually forgets important dates and ceremonies, enraging the partner. 
  • Frolicking away from one task to the other is a common symptom shown in this disorder. Due to incompletion of work, misplacing things, the partner is burdened in doing things alone whereas, it should have been a team effort.
  • People dealing with impulsivity do things without anticipating its outcome. Running out of cash is a common problem as they spend lavishly without thinking much. Their partner might not well take this.
  • Procrastinating is another symptomatic setback. People with impulsive behaviour do few tasks filled with an adrenaline rush as that is backed up with their impulses. But, few works are too monotonous, and no inspiration is enough for them to complete that work. Partners of impulsive disordered people also have to face this issue.
  • These people have trouble controlling their emotions. Mood swings are pretty standard. Lashing out in anger and then all of a sudden, getting completely calm can be rather exasperating to the partner.
  • Extreme anger can also result in violent outbursts, getting both partners in danger.
  • As such, people have difficulty in processing their thoughts before speaking them out. Their verbal bashes can be very blunt and hurtful.
  • Their children might also fear their presence for the obnoxious behavioural execution. 

People dealing with impulsive behaviour disorder may lastly resort to seclusion for their failed relationships. Friends and acquaintances may also avoid their company for the sudden outbursts of their emotions. 

Ask for help!

If you have problems controlling impulsivity, then you may go for impulse control therapy. ‘Having such a squirming life is not acceptable!’ You are meant to have a worthy life without disintegrating yourself and the people in it. 

To avail a personal session with the doctor, who will actually understand your problem and give you the best therapy, schedule an appointment now.

Get confidential help now at 9311112377.

Author: Dr. Deepak Raheja

Hope Care established under the guidance of Dr. Deepak Raheja, President at Delhi Psychiatric Society is a psychiatric center of excellence that endeavors to restore hope and well-being to individuals and families afflicted by mental ill-health through comprehensive treatment and rehabilitation services. Hopecare seeks to set benchmarks in innovative programs in treatment, care, and education.

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